


Lonely (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

by katsu_serpent



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Happy Avengers, Mostly Fluff, happy Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 01:19:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9795971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katsu_serpent/pseuds/katsu_serpent
Summary: This is a prolonged story of yours and Bucky's relationship which will all lead up to one fateful valentines day. (Trust me, it gets better)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to post this on Valentines day and obviously failed, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Bucky had never known what it felt like to be in love before. All those years spent in isolation, under Hydra's control, how could he? Even before Hydra turned him into the winter soldier, Bucky had only ever experienced flings. Besides his family and friends, he'd never been romantically involved with another person, which wasn't a problem. Not until now. It was only natural that he didn't know what to do when he started to feel attraction towards you.

It was expected of him to be a bit rusty in his dating and flirtation game after being frozen and brainwashed for 70 odd years, but never had he expected to be completely thrown off his game. It confused him and scared him to think that he may have fallen for someone. What made it worse, was valentines day was just around the corner.

You had met Bucky a few years before you became an Avenger. You had heard of the deadly assassin before numerous times. You first heard mention of him in 2012, the same year the avengers were assembled. You read about him in the Captain America exhibit in a museum. Your only thought being what a shame it must've been to die so young, and the more you read about his history, the more enthralled you become with him. The next time his name arose to your attention was two years later, but you were unaware that it was him at first. The name "Winter Soldier" flooded its way into various confidential meetings and conferences. They all spoke of how dangerous he was and the threat he opposed to everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D as well as the world, but you couldn't help but feel intrigued by the myth that was the Winter Soldier. You weren't scared of him, he didn't intimidate you, he intrigued you, so you did your research.

At the time, you were merely a S.H.I.E.L.D agent in training, although one of the best they had to offer. You weren't supposed to be so captivated by someone such as a Hydra assassin, but your curiosity got the best of you to the point where you would hack into S.H.I.E.L.D's classified files regarding the winter soldier and needless to say you were immediately captivated by his reputable skills. The way you felt about him, made you feel strange. Rather than seeing him as a threat, you saw him as a possible benefit to your cause, perhaps even a possible avenger of some sort, but overall he failed to strike fear into you like he did others.

The day you met Bucky was the year S.H.I.E.L.D fell, and you were devastated. When shit hit the fan, you ran out of the building in a panic much like every other agent, only just missing the break between the bridge and S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters. Just as you were about to leave, you caught sight of the falling helicarrier. Your pace began to slow down as you focused on a figure falling from the ship, which you quickly recognised as Captain America himself. You looked around frantically to see if anyone else had noticed, but no one had, which only made your protective instincts kick in faster, causing you to run hurriedly over to where you saw him falling.

As you ran, you kept your eyes locked with his falling figure to make sure you'd be able to get to him in time. A small surge of worry coursed through you when you saw him crash into the body of water below, and you began to run faster. You were even more worried when Cap didn't rise up to the surface, you couldn't let him drown, but your worry subsided slightly when a darker figure dove in after him with a flash of silver. You allowed yourself to calm down a bit when you saw the figure rise to the surface carrying Steve with them, still continuing your frantic commute to assist him.

You found yourself along a sand laced shore line and began to slow down. You were panting hard, almost breathless. Almost immediately Steve came into your view and a wave of relief washed over you when you raced over to him despite your fatigue. Just as you were about to reach him, an arm stretched out in front of you from the foliage. You quickly ducked down to avoid it, only to have an arm wrap around your waist and slam you hard down to the earth, winding you upon impact. That's when you saw him. The winter soldier. The steely blue of his eyes was chilling, fitting to his title. His left arm gripped your throat while his left held both of your hands at bay. You should've been terrified by now, but failed to feel anything for him right now.

"Please, I'm need to help him!" You managed to shout through breathless gasps. It seemed pathetic at first, but it's all you cared about in that moment. Surprisingly it seemed to strike a chord with the soldier since he loosened his grip around your throat.

You'd expected some hand to hand combat with the soldier, but he reasonably released you. You quickly caught your breath and stood up, clumsily rushing over to Steve. You looked him over; he was breathing, a positive sign. You then gave him some quick CPR as a precaution and turned him on his side to let any residual water flow out of him. All he did was sputter and cough, a sign that he was going to live, which put your thoughts at ease. You hadn't realised it through your panic but the man that brought Steve to the shoreline looked familiar, and to your surprise he was still present, standing only a few feet behind you observing. You gave him a slight glance and he quickly tilted his head up menacingly, failing to break eye contact with you.

"Thank you" You said quietly as you examined Steve for any other wounds  

He was silent for a while, only staring out at the chaotic scenery.

"Is he okay?" His voice was gruff but you could hear his sincerity.

"Medics are on their way. He's got a a bullet wound to his lower abdomen and most likely a concussion, but he should be okay. After all he's suffered worse" You spoke using the most professional tone you could muster, in an attempt to hide your panic.

With that, he nodded and began to walk away.

"Wait!-" You stood. He turned. "Are you going to be okay?" You couldn't help but worry for him, he was hurt as well, even though he refused to show it. 

All he did was nod, his eyes darting between you and the ground beneath. You didn't know why but the urge to help him in anyway you could stuck with you, and you couldn't ignore the painful familiarity of his features that gnawed at the back of your mind. You knew him, but how.

"Okay" You said giving a reassuring nod. "Can I at least cleanse your eye" He flinched at the mention of help, and you quickly realised that that may have been a tad intrusive. "I'm only here to help you" To put his mind at ease, you lowered anything that may have been intimidating or threatening. Your phone and gun. It may not have been the best idea when standing face to face with a professional assassin, but you didn't care. 

You slowly made your way towards him, his eyes burning into you. He hadn't consented to your help, but he didn't decline it either, so you continued. When you were only a few centimetres apart you slowly lifted the rag you had up to Bucky's cheek, him eyeballing your every movement. Gently you wiped away the blood that masked his face and gave him the rest of the cloth, not wanting to further invade his personal space. 

You expected he would go into full defence mode, but he seemed fine having you near him. You felt comforted by the thought that the Winter Soldier, the man that was used by Hydra to assassinate numerous figures of power throughout the course of seventy years without leaving a trace, the man that could take down an entire empire down over night if he needed to was allowing you to help him. 

"Okay, you can go" Your voice said softly.

Although he seemed content with you around, you could tell he wanted to vanish as soon as he could, which only made your thoughts wonder as to why he was staying. Why was he risking getting caught by the authorities just so you could stupidly clean up a small gash on his face that was really no threat to him at all. 

"Seriously, thank you" The soldier only stared at you, keeping eye contact as he turned to leave. Watching him leave you knew you'd miss those eyes. They weren't the eyes of a killer, they were vulnerable and confused and you wanted to fix that. You felt as if you needed to fix that. 

Within a few seconds that was it, he was gone without a trace. That was the day you met the winter soldier and lived. From then on, your life was never the same. Steve thanked you for helping him, and after you described the man that saved him, he informed you that the man that pulled him from the river was none other than Bucky Barnes himself, which explained why you felt as if you knew him that day. 

"How is that possible? I thought he died in 1944?" You questioned Steve with a puzzled expression.

"You and me both, doll face" Steve smiled up at you from his hospital bed. 

He then thanked you for caring for Bucky even if all that was done was a simple fix up of a gash, and although the deed seemed effortless, Steve was captivated by your leadership skills and perseverance. Without you knowing, he requested to look through your track record and examined all the success you had in your field of training. Not a single failed mission, skilled in multiple forms of combat and martial arts, as well as an expertise in military weaponry and advanced technology training. It was obvious to him at this point that you were cut out for more than just agent work. He trialled you for an Avengers position. You were baffled by the offer - you weren't even a S.H.I.E.L.D agent yet, but you doubted that that'd be happening any time soon, but you were overly thankful for the opportunity and easily obtained the position.

Not a day went by that you didn't think about him, you even helped Steve and Sam find Bucky and held a vital role in Cap's team against the accords. You were caught in the crossfire of the internal civil war between new and old avengers, out of them all you had the least history with the rest of the members. The most involvement you had was keeping an eye on the authorities, warning Cap of anything that may hold a threat to the team. Although you wanted to be of more assistance to your team, Steve didn't want you caught up in the mess more than you already were, which you reluctantly respected and stayed away from the fight as much as you could.

A few years passed and the hunt for the super soldier Bucky Barnes died down almost completely, T'challa even fixed Bucky's arm while he was in cryostasis. It took time for the wounds between avengers to heal, but it was a start. After a year or so, everyone went back to living in the avengers tower, including yourself. And finally, months after their return, Bucky was taken out of his temporary slumber and brought back to the base. Just like you and Clint betted on, Bucky became apart of the team as well. His mind wasn't completely healed, but enough to join the team.

He was distant towards everyone at first, he rarely spoke and only really communicated with Steve and occasionally Sam. Until one night, you were up late 'researching' for Steve, when Bucky walked into the lounge area, startling you with his stealth soundless entry.

"Sorry, I didn't meant to scare you" He said softly in a low gruff voice. His hair was tied back in a low bun and you could see the sweat that'd moistened his hair and forehead; awake form nightmares again.

"It's totally fine" You laughed nervously.

He walked into the kitchen and pulled out a clear glass bottle with a red substance inside from the fridge. He wore nothing but grey sweatpants, meaning this was the first time anyone in the tower got to see the scar of where Bucky's bionic arm began and he shoulder ended, you felt almost honoured. You watched him pour the liquid into a small glass, watching his muscles tense as he moved. It was strange, but he fascinated you beyond belief and all you wanted to do was get to know him better out of curiosity, so you desperately searched your mind for a conversation topic, which was when he downed the liquid like it was nobody's business.

"Uh, if you don't mind me asking, what is that?" You smiled genuinely. He was caught off guard, he hadn't expected you to start up a conversation since no one else had tried the entire time he had lived there.

"Oh, it's plum juice" He said nonchalant 

"They sell that?" You questioned curiously 

"They do, but I prefer to make my own" He answered with his eyes darting between you and his glass

"I'm impressed" You smiled shooting him a fascinated smirk, which made him laugh. That was the first time you'd ever heard him laugh. It made your heart flutter and your cheeks blush. You thought that's where the conversation would end, but to your surprise Bucky came and sat next to you at the dining table.

"What're you working on?" He asked with a puppy's curiosity

"Oh, um, 'research' for Steve" You replied, giving air quotations

"What kind of research?" Bucky smiled, pouring himself another glass of Plum juice.

"He's too proud to google himself but he still wants to know what comes up if you do, so he asked me to do it"

"Google?" He seemed confused

"Oh, the thing that you search for information on, like a library but on the internet" You explained

"Oh, right" He smiled, staring into his glass. 

This was the most interaction you'd had with Bucky every since he moved in, you couldn't help but feel flustered by him. He wasn't at all the person you thought he was, he was gentle and kind. For that moment he spent with you he dropped his guards only slightly just because you made he feel as if he could, he felt safe talking to you.

The two of you spoke all throughout the night, bonding over various different topics of conversation. You showed him things you liked, like your favourite shows, books, you even watched one of the Star Wars movies which had Bucky immediately captivated, he basically begged you to show him more, and although you had already bonded quite a bit, it was when you mentioned the plum juice that took your friendship to another level.

Throughout the entirety of the movie Bucky drunk almost all of the Plum juice. You knew it was for his memory, but wondered why he needed that much in his system.

"Is it really that good?" You asked

"You wanna give a try?" He then extended the glass towards you, which you gracefully took into both hands.

You intended to take a big gulp of the liquid but failed to do so due to the bitterness that consumed your taste buds and you gave a disgusted expression. Bucky only chuckled at your reaction.

"I don't know what that is, but it is not plum juice" You said, wiping your lips with your sleeve

"Don't blame me, I only said I made it, I didn't say it was good" He smirked

"What'd you put in it?" You exclaimed

"Plums, water and lemon juice" The concoction made you wretch "Oh come it's not that bad" You raised your eyebrow in Bucky's direction "Okay, it's pretty bad" He chuckled.

You sat there for a while, scanning your mind for any ideas of how to make Bucky's memory gaining journey more satisfying. You shot up out of your seat when the idea hit you, startling Bucky, sending him into full defence mode.

"I have an idea" You cooed happily

"What?" He said confused, lowering his defences 

"Come on, it'll be fun, I swear" You jumped in excitement. Bucky smiled brightly at your enthusiasm and cheerfully trailed behind you as you made your way into the kitchen.

You rummaged through the fridge and cupboards, pulling out oats, blueberries, plums and apples, whilst internally praising Tony for insisting on buying almond milk. You got out the blender and the acquired the required equipment as Bucky stood to the side watching your excitement play out in front of him.

"What's all this?" He questioned you, moving closer than usual.

"We're going to make smoothies Ja-I mean, Bucky" You let your enthusiasm get the best of you. You could feel your cheeks burn hot, you didn't mean to over step a name boundary but you felt that you had. Your confident, excited persona melted into a shy, embarrassed one, which seem to worry Bucky. "I got carried away, I'm sorry-"

"You can call me James if you want" He cut you off smiling, and a red tint appeared upon his cheeks. Was he blushing?

"Are you sure?" You looked up at him. 

"It's nice to hear it from someone every once in a while"

"You really don't mind?" You asked once more.

He simply nodded, rubbing the back of his neck as his lips rolled in on each other.

"Okay" You smiled.

"Yeah, anyway, how about you teach me how to make a 'smoothie'" Bucky laughed, opening up the bag of oats.

"Right" Your determination and excitement returned as well as that same comfort you felt before, wrapping around the two of you.

You and Bucky spent the next hour preparing and blending together different combinations of ingredients with plum, oats and blueberry being yours and Bucky's favourite. You couldn't believe how quickly Bucky had become comfortable around you and you alone. There was no awkward tension between the two of you, only comfort. The kind of comfort shared between life long friends and couples. 

Your fun finally ended when Steve entered the kitchen.

"What are you guys doing?" Steve asked still yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"Um" You and Bucky chimed together, holding back laughter.

"You know what? I don't need to know" Steve said making his way over to the coffee machine and turning it on.

"What are you doing up so late, Rogers?" Bucky questioned.

"It's six in the morning, Buck" Steve said leaning against the kitchen counter.

You and Bucky looked at each other in surprise. You had spent all night together and lost track of time in the process. You were baffled by the time difference and the fact that you'd practically spent at least 4-6 hours alone with Bucky.

"I should, uh, get to bed" You smiled blushing.

"Uh, yeah, it's probably for the best"

"Thanks for tonight"

"No, thank you" He said sending you a seductive wink, causing you to blush harder.

"Goodnight, Buck" You said, trailing your hand tenderly down his right arm before turning around to leave.

As soon as you left the area Steve gave Bucky a mischievous smile.

"So, Y/N, huh?"

"Yeah, Y/N" He said mindlessly still staring off in the direction you left, mesmerised by the night you shared, but mostly he was enchanted by you. He had fallen.


End file.
